


Not The Prisoner's Dilemma

by donttrusteric_01



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cute, How Do I Tag, Kenma & Yamaguchi work at a book store, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, What else is new?, kenma's just tired, kuroo's sly, they're kind of pals, tsukishima is salty, yama is my child and will be happy, yamaguchi is a stress baker, yamaguchi the stress baker ftw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-09-20 15:25:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9498266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donttrusteric_01/pseuds/donttrusteric_01
Summary: All Yamaguchi wanted to do was thank his neighbors for not calling the police on his loud friends. But to do this, he has to actually speak with his frightening and admittedly attractive neighbor. Too bad Yamaguchi is stubborn and awkward, which can't possibly make this any easier.Or when Tsukishima is a gorgeous, pining jerk, Yamaguchi's heart can't deal, and Kenma just wants to go home.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You've got this far, so thanks for looking into my first piece. Feel free to hate, love, enjoy or feel about it however you want. I am a slow, lazy person, so I apologize if this will be updated slower than I run (which is very).

“I’m so sorry for the disturbance that happened last night! Please except these in my thanks for withstanding it!” I almost shout as I bow low and shove the plate of cookies towards my elderly neighbor.

 

Shouyou and Tobio came over to my apartment last night, and, as expected, bickered the night away. It appalls me how they can be so perfect fro each other when they fight as much as they do.

 

Once they finally tired each other out, at 2 in the freaking morning, the first thing I did was bake three-dozen cookies to apologize to my dear neighbors who probably couldn’t sleep with all the shouting.

 

Shouyou says that I’m a ‘stress baker’, but that’s not true. I mean sure, I’ve baked after many stressful occasions, like when my sister’s cat got sick, and after a certain important class exam, and… okay, I guess I could be considered a ‘stress baker’, but that’s not important!

 

My apology cookies will be going to the kind Tachibana family across the hall, old Ms. Mizaki to my left, and the somewhat aloof, tall guy to my right that I have yet to introduce myself to, even though he had moved in over a month ago.

 

I’ve only seen this guy twice, and the only thing I can say is that he’d be quite attractive if he could show some kind of…positive emotion. Both times I’ve seem him, he looked either bored or annoyed. So…yeah, I have a reason for not speaking to him yet. Plus, he hasn’t made any attempt to speak to me either so I’m not the only one to blame for this.

 

            _Why am I debating with myself anyways? Oh right, I’m trying to burn time so that I don’t have to knock on his door yet._ As I stand outside his door, final plate of cookies in shaking hands, I create a mental list of reasons why I shouldn’t knock.

 

            _He doesn’t seem to be one for visitors._

_I wouldn’t want to bother him on a Saturday._

_What if it was his birthday? I wouldn’t want to interfere._

_What if someone he knows just passed away?_

_What. If. He. Hates. Freckles?!_

 

            “Did you need something?”

 

            The voice shocks me out of my internal thoughts and I’m almost certain that I let out a ridiculous squeak. My cheeks burn like something wild and I’ve never before been as thankful for my darker skin tone that hides it. I bow and stutter out what I’m sure is a very awkward apology, knowing myself as I do.

 

            “I-I-I’m so sorry! For being lost in…in my head and not noticing you and-and never introducing myself. I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi by the way! Nice to meet you. And… oh my goodness! I could never be more sorry for the ruckus last night! My friends are very loud and it was late at night, well, technically it was early in the morning, but that’s not important! … Cookies?” I end my incredibly embarrassing spew of words and shove the plate of cookies towards the man before me. I’m startled to hear a soft snort and when I raise my head to it’s source, a gasp is swept from my lungs.

 

            _Well, there goes my heart._

 

            I may have thought that he was attractive from a distance, but I was so, so wrong. He is not what is considered cute, he’s gorgeous!

 

            His short and utterly soft looking blond hair curls loosely around his ears and thick rimmed glasses frame stunning golden irises that … are staring right at me? _Shot! I can not believe that I’ve been staring at him like a dead fish! How completely embarrassing! Have I no grasp on social norms? C’mon Tadashi! Get a grip! I can’t…_

“Is that all? Because if we’re done here, I’d love to get back to anything more productive than this,” he says, seemingly irritated.

            “Of course sir! Sorry to…”

            “Don’t call me sir, I’m not an old man.”

            “Sure thing. My bad! What should I call you then? You haven’t exactly introduced yourself. Not that you have to of course!” I quickly interrupt myself. “Only if you wish to, I don’t want to make…”

            “Are you aware that you tend to ramble?” He’s the one to interrupt me this time. I decide not to open my mouth in case more words decide that they want to stumble off my lips. Instead I give a slow nod to his question.

            “Good, “ he responds, “At least one of us gained something from this conversation.”

 

            _Ouch._ I’m not gonna lie, that kind of stung. Here I am, bringing this guy some apology cookies, and he has the nerve to blatantly insult me. I don’t know whether it was due to my lack of sleep or some other force of nature, but for some reason this guy was making me uncharacteristically mad. I could not believe this jerk! Gorgeous or not!

 

            Well I was not about to make a bigger fool of myself for no reason. My pride had suffered enough beating today.

 

            I proceeded to drop the plate of cookie, (thank all holy deities that the plate was plastic), at his feet and stomped away, fuming like a child.

 

            But ya know what? I don’t care if I act like a child! I have had a troubling morning and am just ready for the suffering to end.

 

            It wasn’t until I closed my own door behind me that I realized what I had just done.

            _Well damn._

_~~I really liked that plate.~~_

««««««««««««««««««««««

 

            “Tadashi, I’m not sure what makes you think that I care about your social crisis, but I don’t.”

            “This is not a social crisis! I’m just flustered, and embarrassed beyond belief, and mad. Very mad.”

            I probably should have known that Kozume would be as uninterested in my problems as he is with most things.

            “Hey, why are you pouting Yama?”

            “I’m not pouting! I’m mad! Particularly fuming, Kuroo-san, thank you very much.”

            Of course, wherever Kozume is, Kuroo isn’t far behind.

 

            “This is your mad face?” Kuroo pauses until I respond with a short nod. “Aww! That’s just too cute! It seems that our wittle Yama can’t make his face do anything but look cute and happy.”

            This statement only deepens my frown, or what might actually just be a pout.

            “Stop Kuro,” Kozume interjects for once, “Just let him think he’s scary.”

            I watch Kuroo snicker in that creepy way only he can as he leans across the counter.

            “Kuro, get off the counter, you don’t work here,“ Kozume barely mutters, but loud enough for Kuroo reply, “Yeah, but you do Kitten, so I can’t keep myself away.”

 

            It still eludes me how people with such contrasting personalities can match and fit as well as Kuroo and Kozume do. After working at the bookstore with Kozume for a couple of months, I’ve seen my fair share of interactions between them, and I still don’t get it.

 

            I almost forgot that I had a previous mission to tell Kozume my troubling tale from yesterday.

            “Hey Kozume-san,”

            “No honorific.”

            “Hey Kozume,”

            “Just Kenma.”

            “Kenma-san,”

            “No honorific.”

            “KENMA!” I just yell, utterly flustered with this ‘game’.

            “Hmm?” Kenma hums, and I realize that he hadn’t even been paying attention to what I was trying to say. The jingle of the bell calls on my attention, and I had started to welcome the customer, until I realized it was the exact person I didn’t want to see.

            I do realize that I should probably let go of our one-sided spat and be mature about it, but I can’t help but feel hesitant. Because in he walks with his stoic, tall, beauty… _No Tadashi! Bad thoughts! We will not again get caught in his piercing, golden, beautiful eyes._ “Gah! Not again!”

 

            “Umm, Yama?” I hear Kuroo snicker.

            Wait, did I just say that out-loud? Way to go, Tadashi, way to make yourself look like even more of a fool in front of your neighbor.

            “Sorry! I just forgot that I … um… forgot to feed my cat again. Yeah!” I hastily try to throw together an excuse for my outburst.

 

            “Pets aren’t allowed in the apartment building, Yamaguchi, so try again.” My neighbor pipes in. Even with his rude statement, I can’t help but be a little flattered that he remembered my name from yesterday.

            “Huh? Tsukki, do you know YamaguchI?” Tsukki? When Kuroo says this, I realize that I never got his name. Tsukki sounds like too sweet of a name to belong to someone so grumpy. I doubt that he’d appreciate me using the name, so I’ll just have to file it away for later.

 

            “Not that it’s any of your business, Kuroo, but yes. He’s my _neighbor.”_

I couldn’t fathom why he would emphasize the word ‘neighbor,’ but it must have meant something to Kuroo, because he grin turned into a nasty smirk.

 

            “Would you look at the time? It looks like Tsukki and I have to be on our way. See ya!” Kuroo suddenly grabs Tsukki, which he does not seem too happy about, and heads for the door.

 

            “Stupid Kuro, he just got here and he’s already leaving,” I can barely hear Kozume huff out when standing next to him, but somehow Kuroo heard him from a couple meters away. I’m amazed to see his smirk melt into the genuine smile designed just for his boyfriend, as he turns and said, “Sorry Kitten. I’ll see you at home after work, all right? Don’t miss me too much!” He doesn’t leave through the door until a slightly red Kenma gives him the smallest of nods.

 

            I turn to look at Kozume and can feel the stupid smile on my face.

            “Kenma-san, you and Kuroo-san are just too cute.”

            “No honorific.”

            “GAH!”

 

««««««««««««««««««««««

           

            “So Tsukki, you didn’t tell me that Yamaguchi was the cute neighbor you’ve been stalking and gushing about,” Kuroo laughs as he drags Tsukishima down the sidewalk with an arm slung over his shoulders.

            “I have not been stalking him, I simply recognize his presence when it’s there. And I’d hardly call it gushing. I didn’t even know his name until yesterday anyways, not that it matters.”

            “Why on Earth wouldn’t this tidbit of information matter, old buddy old pal?”

            “Because,” Tsukishima sneers when he shoves off the offending appendage off his shoulders. “I’m quite certain that he’s not fond of me.”

            “Well I can’t imagine why, especially with your shining personality.” This drags an even deeper glare on the blonde’s face.

 

            “All right, all right. Why don’t you tell uncle Kuroo what went down?”

            “As long as I never have to here you say ‘Uncle Kuroo’ ever again.”

            “Deal.”

           

            When Tsukishima begrudgingly the embarrassing story of the events from the day before, Kuroo can’t stop himself from laughing.

            “I cannot believe,” he barely chokes out through his chortles, “that you insulted sweet, little Yamaguchi, out of nervousness. You! Nervous! This is the best thing I’ve ever heard!”

            “I was not nervous,” Tsukishima snaps.

            “Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. But anyway you see it, you still have to apologize.”

 

            Through Kuroo’s rambunctious laughter, Tsukishima realizes that this cackling idiot might be right.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey anyone who actually stuck with me for the past few months! Sorry for the really late chapter. I have no real excuse for not posting until now. Sorry again and I hope that this chapter is well enjoyed!

“Yama! Why are you so distressed! Did something happen? Did someone hurt you?! Who did it! Tell me and I’ll kick their ass!” 

Shouyuou has never been the most quiet of people, but even this screaming is too much for me at the moment. I invited him to the coffee shop in hopes of talking about my somewhat troubling experience with my (still) currently nameless neighbor, but of course it isn’t going as planned, as is everything seems to be these days.  
“Shouyou, nothing is really wrong and you don’t need to be so loud, we’re in a coffee shop that I hope not to be kicked out of,” I shakily try to ease the boy.  
“Yeah, dumbass Hinata. Like you’d be able to reach to beat someone up anyways.”  
Of course, of course anywhere you find Hinata you’ll find Kageyama.  
“Who do you think you’re talking to, Kageyama?! I’ll fight you! Right here!”  
Oh no, I can see the barista look our way as both Hinata and Kageyama stand up and start to wildly gesture at each other.  
“C’mon guys, please sit down. I’d really like to just talk without causing a ruckus.” My attempt to calm down the two seems to have absolutely no affect on the situation as they continue yell, and gesture, and get closer and closer until they’re just…  
sigh  
This is what always happens. They start some argument and it’s starts to get really loud and animated until they get so lost in each other and just start…kissing. Straight up making out. In public. Every. Freaking. Time.  
sigh

 

↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔

We were kicked out. Again.  
“ Sorry for getting you kicked out of another place Yama,” Shoyou says  
“Yeah, sorry Yamaguchi,” Kageyama reiterates the apology, which makes me feel a bit better. “But how can they kick us out for public indecency? We kept or clothes on.” The ‘this time’ although left unsaid, was clearly inferred. With that input from a very blunt Tobio, I no longer feel consoled by their apologies.  
“Well, even if their excuse for getting rid of us was ridiculous, which it was, you still wanted to talk, Yama. So let’s go somewhere else. How does Mickey D’s sound? I know how much you love their fries,” this is true, I quite enjoy myself a good McDonald’s fry, ”I’ll even let Kageyama pay for your food.”  
“What?!”  
sigh. 

↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔

We got kicked out. Again again.  
I don’t even know what they were arguing about this time, but at least I got my fries before the incident occurred. So now we’re trudging back to my apartment because I have absolutely no faith in that chance that the other two will not continue to get shoved out of another dining establishment.  
“We really are sorry this time, Yams.”  
I just respond with a grunt and continue to shovel handfuls of McDonald’s fries in my mouth.  
When we get to my door I struggle to grab my keys from my pocket with hands full of food. As if my luck couldn’t get any worse, what’s left of my glorious fries slips from under my arms in my struggle to grasp my keys. All I can do is lay my head against the door and let out a long groan of frustration. Today really isn’t my day.  
“It seems as if you have trouble keeping your food in your hand’s lately,” I hear the lovely deep voice behind me. The words make me whip around to find mister no-name neighbor leaning outside his door in all his lanky glory. He’s wearing a dark coat with the collar popped up in a way that makes him look amazing and a bit of a douche at the same time (not that I’d ever say that). I feel a hole in my stomach at the thought that I have once again made a fool of myself in front of this gorgeous man.  
“Yeah, um…hey,” I mumble. I can see my two friends inspect the situation before them out of the corner of my eye.  
“Yes, well I was wondering if I could speak with you for a moment, Yamaguchi. Preferably without an audience,” he continues and I’m shocked in my place by the sight of a soft blush that settles on his otherwise pale cheeks.  
I cannot believe, that this proud man is averting his gaze from mine, that this scary man looks adorable wearing a shy face that I would have never thought to be something for me to see.  
I’m shaken from my stupor by Hinata’s not at all subtle cough.  
“It seems like you have some business to deal with, so we’re just going to head out. Call when you got time, Yama!” Hinata remarks brightly with a manic grin that lets me know that the subject will most definitely be spoken about later.  
With a final departing nod from Kageyama, the two promptly leave me to deal with the awkward situation I’m in which has never really been a skill set of mine. I guess I might as well jump right in.  
“So, you uh, wanted to talk?” I sputter out.  
Not too bad. Awkward, but what about me isn’t? It’s a conversation starter I guess.  
“Yes. I um, guess that I owe you an apology for my rude behavior the other day. So I’m sorry for the way I had spoken to you. And…yeah.”  
What?!  
“What?”  
“Yeah, I was also wondering if I could possibly make it up to you with lunch or coffee or something of that sort.”  
WHAT?! Is he asking me out? Wait, no! Calm down Tadashi, he’s just being very kind and inviting you out to eat…as neighbors.  
“Wow, thank you so much, but you don’t need to do that. It’s really okay. You don’t have to apologize,” I respond, no matter how much I’d really like to eat with him. To get to know him, what he likes to eat, quirks he has during conversation. So much potential for talking with him that I just threw away by being too polite.  
Dang it!  
“No no, I owe it to you and actually want to do it,” he says coolly and I swear I melt on the spot.  
He actually wants to spend time with me!  
“Well then, that sounds good to me, great even!” I cringe at my eagerness, ”uh, when would you like to meet?”  
“Hmm, if you give me your number I can let you know later.” Gone is the blush that was previously on his face, replaced with the cool, calculated features I recognize. This is crazy! He’s asking for my number! I feel no more anger towards this guy after his sweet proposition of taking me out. Or, that’s how I’m deciding to see it.  
Not trusting myself to respond in an equally cool manner, I give him a nod and trade phones with him. His is a slick new smart phone that I handle delicately as I type in my number.  
“Okay, well I’ll see you later Yamaguchi,” he says, sliding back into his room.  
“Yeah, see ya,” I squeak, but he’s already inside.  
My eyes dart to my phone that was held by the other male only moments before. Tsukishima Kei, it reads. I hadn’t known his name until know. It somehow fits him wonderfully. 

↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔

“That guy? He’s the one you’re having all this trouble about? I already don’t like him, and I don’t even know him,” Hinata grumbles.  
After settling back in my room (and cleaning the food I had dropped on the floor before our discussion), I had called back Hinata and Kageyama to come over with more French fries. I had since then told them about my whole conflict with Tsukishima and how I needed to eat away my worries.  
“Yes you do Hinata,” Kageyama pipes up,” remember that tall middle blocker in high school we played with. He was a Tsukishima.”  
Hinata quickly sits up at this, “oh yeah. That guy was a jerk! He always made fun of my height and didn’t even care about the game! Yamaguchi, I forbid you from going on a date with that salty jerk face.”  
The knowledge that my friends in fact know the subject of my confusion does not sooth me in the least.  
“First off, it’s not a date. It is simply an apology meal. Secondly, you can’t control or stop who I like. Not even I can do that!” I shoot at the small ginger.  
“Humph, well Hinata’s actually right about something,” his boyfriend’s screech of disapproval is ignored, “that Tsukishima guy is a jerk. I didn’t like him much at all.”  
I didn’t point out that the raven doesn’t tend to really like people in general, but instead ask to drop the topic for now and continue to eat my food.  
“Fine,” Hinata huffs, “we’ll talk about something else. Like your insane love for French fries. Like, Yamaguchi, why do you like the French fries so much?”  
“I don’t know,” I shrug, “I guess I just like the salty flavor.”  
“Ooh, well no wonder you like Tsukishima!”  
“What?!”  
“Well, you like salt, and he’s like 300% salt!”  
“WHAT?!”

↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔↔

Tsukishima lets out a breath of air and drops on his couch. He did it; he talked to Yamaguchi and got his number. Just doing that was tough enough, having to sit with the adorable, round faced freckled man for a whole meal will probably end in disaster.  
Good Luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment constructive, kind, or otherwise. I hope that there was something enjoyable about reading it and with school done (by the end of this week :D) i'll most likely be able to get out another chapter sooner. Enjoy your days and weeks and stuff! See ya guys when I see ya!
> 
> -Li Ann

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading pals! Tell me what you thought, good, constructive or otherwise. Kudos are a lovely, silent gift as well!


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